my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
