He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
