I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
