I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
