Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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