I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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