C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I feel like a drive thru vagina
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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