i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
