whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
