You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Randomize
