i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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