But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
