If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
