Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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