HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
