id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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