So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
