I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
