yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
