Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
