Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
