That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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