Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
