I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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