Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
