i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
