i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
