I got her a Nickelback box set.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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