Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
