i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize