Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
