Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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