what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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