If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
