I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
