I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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