If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
