you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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