bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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