I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
