My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
