O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
