He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
