Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
