so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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