Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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