My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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