i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
