I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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