Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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