he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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