He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
